In my previous post I expressed some thoughts on the physical aspect of Long Term Orgasm Denial. How time affected the feelings one has. In this post I’d like to focus a little more on the emotional and relationship aspects.
To start off this post I’ll answer a question asked by nuts4belle: “I would also like to know if it gets increasingly depressing immediately after each orgasm knowing that you have to start over and it will be even longer the next time.”
I know exactly what he means. When we were still into Short Term Denial I constantly felt that I wasn’t ready for an orgasm. It wasn’t so much about whether I was physically capable of or needed to orgasm – I’m a guy, I want to orgasm all the time. One of the reasons why I didn’t feel ready to orgasm was exactly what nuts4belle mentioned - to start from scratch.
What was also frustrating at the time was that WIC would let me have one orgasm which meant that I wasn’t completely satisfied – I still wanted to orgasm some more. It felt as if she didn’t appreciate the effort and commitment that went into this and also when deciding to let me climax she didn’t give me enough. Not enough denial and not enough orgasm. I know it sounds fucked up but, really it wasn’t. It was important for us to have gone through this in order for us to be able to move on to doing things better.
I raised the idea of a year of denial. WIC agreed to it and we made the commitment to each other. Still it took a while before we truly got into it. As I mentioned in the previous post my breakthrough really only took place after breaking the 60-70 day barrier. I have spoken to WIC and she also has experienced moments where she felt that she wanted to call it off because she craved cum in her pussy. For her, the more stressful life is the more she craves cum in her pussy and we did go through some stressful times. The dogs dying, the armed robbery and the bane of our lives – my fathers deceased estate which has been dragging on for about three years now.
I can already hear some of the responses to my previous statements. “But, if she wants cum then she should get it.” “It’s all about her needs.” “She’s the one that should decide!” My response to that is that she is into this as much as I am and she did decide. Even the strongest of us get tired and feel the need to give in to our wants but, sometimes going for the quick fix is not what we need. By sticking to our commitment we’ve been able to open up to levels of intimacy we’ve never experienced before. We’ve tried so many new things! Face-sitting for example, never in my life would I have thought that I would be able to experience being smothered by her pussy and ass for hours while she climaxes time after time. In fact edging me while she smothers me with her pussy and ass is one of her favourite things these days (and mine too!)
By postponing what we want for a while we both get so many things we’ve needed for so long in return. WIC has already hinted that she can’t wait for the year to end because then she get’s to decide whether or not she wants to extend it. Not only does that make me hard and so desperate to cum that I don’t know whether to beg her to let me cum or deny me for ever. By owning the process and deciding where to steer it she is showing me that she is enjoying this as much as I am.
But, nuts4belle’s question goes a little deeper than simply a few weeks followed by an orgasm. What if WIC does let me climax at the end of the year and decides that the next period of Orgasm Denial is going to be a year and six months? How would I feel if I had to start over again after an orgasm? There was a time that I watched the Chastity Clock. Couldn’t wait to break the previous record. It was a way of stroking my ego. After going through my 60-70 day barrier that all changed to some extent.
As far as I’m concerned after the year is over all bets are off. When that happens the next part of our game is up to her. I want her to make the decision on her own I want it to be what she wants. Chastity/Orgasm Denial was my idea. Committing to a year was something we decided on together. The next step should be hers. She has a lot of time to consider her options and she has my support as to whatever it may be. Best of all I think she wants to make the decision on her own – there is no longer any need for me to top from the bottom.
I still owe Robert Anthony an answer but this post is also getting to be a little long. Hold on a bit for the next one where I’ll be writing about “How possible penetration without cumming is likely to be.”